It’s the Best Time & the Worst Time to Be a Princess

Meet the Princess Archetype of The Sovereignty Knot

When you read my book, The Sovereignty Knot, you’ll find this trinity at its core:

Free the Princess.
Crown the Queen.
Embrace the Wise Woman.

The Celt in me craves the rhythm of threes. The entrepreneur in me understands the power of a signature system. And, at my core, I just know this triad to be true.

There are other archetypes that can help understand the lives of women and folks who identify with the feminine, of course. My experience has shown me that the warrior, the mother, the seer, and others can all find expression in the Princess, Queen, or Wise Woman. 

Over the next few weeks, I’ll introduce you to the Princess, Queen, and Wise Woman and we’ll play with the mythic medicine they off to us in this modern moment.

These archetypes have been my companions for years, and I find that every time I give myself a chance to come back to them, I rediscover something I need to discover all over again.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times:
When life moves at the speed of the Princess

Last month, I wrote about how easy it was to move too far, too fast from my own book. Though I would certainly say some of it in a different way, four years on, the ideas are foundational to what I do on the podcast and as a writing coach, and as a mother, partner, and friend.

This propensity to move on too quickly is a core quality of the Princess. She’s the adventurer, after all. She travels light, and she’s always seeking a new horizon. Sometimes, she’s running from her own mistakes and fears.

We can look at the Princess in contrast to the other two archetypes; the Queen who is fully invested in care-giving and connection making; and the Wise Woman who moves with the slowness and deliberateness that allows her to perceive and hold the “all that is.”

Compared to these powerful, “grown up” archetypes, you might be tempted to dismiss the Princess.

When people hear about the archetypal trinity of The Sovereignty Knot, they’re quick to tell me they’re totally past that first stage. Pink isn’t their color and Disney holds no appeal. They’ve worked hard to free themselves of the patriarchal origin stories that hid them under both the first communion veil and that wedding veil. I get it. 

But…

The Princess, with her vitality, boldness, playfulness, and expansive beginner’s mind, is an integral part of who we are. She is the holy fool, and goddess knows we need someone with the courage to see these old systems with new eyes.

You need aspects of the Princess when you’re very grown up. Especially when you’re very grown up. 

The Princess is made for these times. 

Our relentless culture is addicted to progress and novelty. Have you noticed? There’s little patience for nuance or introspection.

The Princess is able to scan the news feed, form an opinion, and join the protest. 

Or, she can decide it’s “all just too complex” to understand. She’ll shake it off and move on to the next thing, whether it’s trivial or profound. 

She’s a magpie, calling together the shiny objects, but there’s a chance she’s gone before she’s finished the collage, and certainly vanished before she got around to cleaning up.

She’s able to find hope in the midst of the darkness because she’s in touch with what helps her feel good: sexuality and sensuality. She throws a party that lights up the night, and she doesn’t worry about the clouds that will be scattered across the next morning.

The Princess is broken by these times.

Our modern culture is a mirror rather than a portal for the Princess.

When she looks into the screen (because who needs a mirror when you can turn the camera to selfie view), she sees herself. There she is in the fixation with youth and anti-aging, painfully short attention span, and the desire for “more and faster.” 

When all of her aspects are amplified and so few are challenged, the Princess gets lost in the noise. She can’t slow down enough to discover what she thinks or believes. It’s impossible to establish a sense of self or safety when the world is a blur dissolving into “the next.”

Without the focus of the Queen or the perspective of the Wise Woman, the individual is trapped in cycles of immaturity. And the wider culture can get stuck in a similar way.

The Princess embodies the qualities we need in the collective. She is imagination and innovation, unencumbered by concerns about the consequences. But there are consequences.

Whether it’s “fuck around and find out” approach to AI or building a global economy and society with that depends on finite precious metals that run our devices, if we put all the power in the hands of the Princess, we’ll find that reach for the endless horizon means we’re driving off a cliff.

We all have a Princess within - thank the gods.

Depending on your take on “collapse” and whether it’s necessary for the entire tower to fall before we can start again, you might be ok with the Princess driving modernity’s convertible off the cliff.

I admit I have my reservations - my Queen and Wise Woman have some deep roots in the world-as-it-is, and they worry about all that might be lost in the quest to begin again.

But we do need to make changes - desperately. 

To challenge the status quo that is built on the perpetual capitalist pursuit of limitless growth and extraction. To end conflicts being fought according to old colonialist calculations and misappropriated rage. To bring true equity to a world that has so far to go when it comes to matters of race and gender and more.

The Princess within you is fueled by wild dreams that take you - and the entire world - to the edge of known world and beyond.

Can you free the Princess so that you can see all that’s possible (and not yet possible)?

Don’t worry, she won’t ever need to do it alone. You have the Queen and the Wise Woman to help make those dreams real.

And, in my book (and in my life), Sovereignty is never a one-person job. We access our Sovereignty in order to heal and serve the collective that knots us all together.